


Reassurance

by Awkward_Dragon



Series: Atonement for my sins [2]
Category: Weak Constitution:Common Cat
Genre: Both of these boys have people who love them, Boys Being Boys, Don't Judge Me, Enoki is a good bean with self worth issues, Fluff and Angst, Other, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, They need this, crying and hugging, it was meant to be so fluffy guys but it turned out this way, it's just some soft times you guys, that's what boys do right?, they are just blind as bats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 12:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29874474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Dragon/pseuds/Awkward_Dragon
Summary: Blue and Enoki are left at home alone for the day.  What utter chaos will ensue when the two of them are left under one roof and a certain demon can't help but be a little snoop???Blue has to confront the true feelings behind a certain habit of his and Enoki opens up in a way that Blue never thought he would.
Relationships: Enoki/Dey, Kara/Blue
Series: Atonement for my sins [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196435
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Reassurance

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Weak Constitution: Common Cat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302013) by [Awkward_Dragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Dragon/pseuds/Awkward_Dragon). 



> Just a little fluff to get you through the week. i heard on the discord that you guys wanted more Blue with his stuffed creatures and more Enoki so I thought to combine them. Be sure to let me know what you think.

Kara had warned Blue.

He had told Blue about the guests coming over, he’d also told Blue that he’d be going out for the day but for the life of him Blue hadn’t connected those two events. He’d just assumed the two plans just lived in separate worlds.

It hadn’t clicked until Kara jumped at the knocking and grabbed his bag.

_ Perhaps that’s why all the other owners had thought he was so stupid. _

Blue can’t really do anything so he watches his Master jump up and get the door. Really it should be him getting it. If he had any decency at all he would take the responsibility on himself, let his Master relax since he was obviously nervous for this encounter. But he doesn’t.

Oddly enough, Blue’s pretty sure he’s just as nervous.

There’s chatting at the door and while Blue can hear the noise, hear the warm conversation that’s happening over there, he can’t make out the words. It takes more strength than it should to push himself off the couch to go investigate.

As much as Kara had warned him about this impending meet up, Blue really doesn’t have it in him to deal with people right now. 

He wants to go back to sleep. He wants to curl up in the blankets upstairs and cuddle in the pillows. He wants to stretch under the ridiculously warm covers and only have to worry about how he’s going to curl up again without messing up the blankets.

Except that wouldn’t really be a problem, would it?

Because half the time he really worries about that is when Kara’s with him. When he has to be careful not to steal all the blankets for himself, because as much as Kara is tolerant towards the cold, he still needs some blanket. At least, whenever he’s not turned into another blanket himself.

Because if Blue’s being entirely honest, that’s what he really wants.

Nothing’s happened to justify the achiness in Blue’s chest or the lethargy he feels in his bones, but he wants Kara. He wants to curl up and cuddle and sleep and just spend hours soaking up the warmth and the comforting scent.

But that’s selfish. His Master has plans for today, ones that he’s already been generous enough to share so that Blue can prepare himself. There’s really nothing left to worry about except his temporary housemate.

Blue can hear the cheerful chatting take a turn as his new housemate joins the fray.

“And I can’t come with you because…” Enoki draws out that last word, just filling silence because he thinks that there won’t be a real answer behind it.

“Because it’s got a lot of nosy people who think they know things and think they are allowed to ask whatever question that they want.” Dey explains slowly and careful, but not without a smile, like they’ve been through this before with the exact same words.

Enoki crosses his arms and makes a disgruntled little noise, but doesn’t say anything more on the subject.

_ Enoki. _

They haven’t spent a ton of time together, especially not on their own. Well, except for that first time. That first time where Blue had malfunctioned in the kitchen and broke a cup. The memory brings a flash of heat to Blue’s cheeks, but he does his best to keep his features neutral.

Enoki hadn’t told on him. And they had remained friends afterwards, the demon had seemed inordinately pleased with that crossing of the relationship barrier. They had even taken to ‘sharing friends’ which must be some kind of Durian thing, because all Blue had done was introduce the familiars that he knew at the Care Center and Enoki had nearly burst from joy.

Either way, the demon remains as both their owners leave the house. Kara spares a backwards glance as he closes the door, smiling at Blue with a warmth that cuts Blue to his core.

He should be happy.

His master is happy and so he should be happy for having played even a small part in it, but all Blue feels is empty.

It’s not as though Blue wanted to go with. From what Blue understood, Kara was acting as transport anyways, helping Dey run a few errands before his event, dropping him off with his host family before, and then taking him back after. They were going to do some magic stuff, probably hunt for some components or look for cool things in the mages district. Blue certainly hadn’t wanted to go with, but… being left alone.

_ Not alone _ , he had a house guest.

Enoki seems to have stayed exactly where he’d been planted when the door closed, shoulders hitched up a fraction now that silence had descended upon the entryway. The frenetic, almost mischievous energy the demon specialized in most frequently drained almost as soon as his owner had left his sight, but that’s nothing unusual.

Blue’s noticed that even with others around, as boisterous as Enoki usually is, he’s quite reserved when Dey leaves.

Still, Blue can’t help but think this is all a little awkward

“You hungry?” Blue questions, because that was one of the things that Kara had been worried about in the time before he left. He’d made it very clear that he would be out for a while and wanted to make sure that the familiars fed themselves.

It doesn’t get much of a reaction from Enoki. Though he does seem to consider it before he shrugs, which… _ perfect. _

But Kara’s already prepped food for us so I go to put it on the table. It’s not really any trouble, but Blue can’t help but feel unsettled as I lay out plates and cups. It’s not that he doesn’t like Enoki. He’s a perfectly nice person… demon… doll? He’s nice. Though Enoki tends to be direct when Blue would prefer some subtlety or restraint, there’s nothing inherently wrong with the guy.

Blue plates the food and wonders if Enoki has different tastes as a demon.  _ Did he need specific foods? Was he more used to the crazy noble dietary trends because his owner was a prince- Oh stars!  _ Blue can feel his heart rate shoot up _. Enoki’s a doll, does he even eat? _

Blue forces himself to take a deep breath and count to ten.

Kara had set this all up. He knew well in advance that he’d have to be going out with Dey. He’d made plans for Blue and Enoki to stay together. He’d probably taken the time and asked Dey.

_ Maybe that’s why he was doing meal-prep this morning. _

It doesn’t look anything special to Blue. Though, he supposes there is still one problem.

He’s missing the demon.

Enoki’s not in the kitchen, but Blue wasn’t really paying attention. The demon could have slipped out whenever he wanted. And he probably did want to. If there’s one thing Blue’s come to know it’s that he’s curious. He’d kept himself in the kitchen the last time he was here, but that was probably only because of his Master’s order. Even then he’d spent nearly the whole time wandering, opening cupboards and looking into herb jars.

“Enoki!” Blue calls as he leaves the kitchen, hoping to the stars that his friend hasn’t gotten into any trouble on his own in the house. “Did you get lost-” the joke dies on Blue’s lips.

Because Enoki’s in the living room which means he hasn’t gone exploring into the deeper areas of the house, but the demon’s kneeling there in front of the sofa. 

_ He found my stuffie. _

The hysterical thought’s out of Blue’s head before he can stop himself. Because it’s true, but there’s really no reason to be so worked up. He’s just found it. It doesn’t have to be anything bad.

As present as the thought is that he should go right over there and snatch his prized possession from where it sits in the demon's arms, he forces himself to stay still.  _ It’s ok. It doesn’t mean anything. _

“Blue, what’s this?” Enoki asks, entirely blind to the manic energy that Blue can feel pouring off of him in waves

“I-” Blue tries, but his voice just dies in his throat.

Blue can feel the red spreading across his cheeks.  _ Stars, could he be any more childish? _ It’s all Blue can do to press his lips together and fold his hands primly in front of him. It’s fine.  _ It’s just a toy… _

“I just thought it was a little funky…” Enoki chuckles, bouncing the stuffie up and down fast enough that the ears bounce.

_ You’re gonna break it. _

He wouldn’t, probably not. The toy’s taken a lot of Blue’s strangling and even though Blue does his best to be gentle with it, everytime he goes to wash it he’s worried.

“Give it back!” Blue shouts, taken aback by his own words as well as the ferocity in his tone, but he doesn’t take it back. 

Even Enoki wasn’t expecting it as he immediately takes on the shape of a suitably chastised child and stops messing with the toy. 

“Woah, woah dude, here. My bad. I didn’t realize you-” Enoki doesn’t get to finish his words as Blue snatches away his stuffed kitty pillow.

“It’s mine.” He repeats, pressing the stuffie to his chest and folding his arms over it.

It might seem silly, in fact, Blue’s entirely certain that he’s losing credibility by the second, but it feels good to have the toy back in his arms. He likes the feel of the hypersoft synthetic fabric and the odd texturing of the stitched eyes.

But right now it’s the Demon in front of him that’s got the most of his attention.

“Ok,” Enoki nods slowly, taking in the new information before continuing, “but then why was it wedged behind the sofa.”

_ Because I was hiding it, or trying to anyways. _

“Were you hiding it?” Enoki asks innocently, and Blue nearly has a heart attack thinking that he’s accidentally said the words out loud.

But no, it’s just Enoki, for the first time in his life actually translating a silence appropriately. Except this really isn’t the first time is it?  _ Why is he only perceptive when it comes to shit like this? _

“Y-yeah,” Blue answers, hating the way his voice falters.

But he’s not lying. It is his. Kara had given it to him, truly given it to him. He’d said that he would never take it away and that he could do whatever he wanted with it.

“Did you steal it…” Enoki prods, looking halfway like he wants to answer to be ‘yes’.

“No!” Blue shouts, because,  _ no, dear stars, no _ , he could only imagine the kind of trouble he’d be in for that little upset. “I- Master bought it for me.” he explains, though with significantly less energy.

Because he’s not ready to go through the whole story again. The little mixup at the store that led to him being so bad in public. Back when he didn’t even know Kara, but Blue’d been treated with so many kindnesses that it made his head spin. Back when Blue thought he’d be in trouble for messing with a display and touching something he wasn’t supposed to.

But no, that wasn’t how it had gone down. He’d gotten the toy and lied to the manager. Kara had gotten the toy and lied to the manager.  _ It was for me, he’d given it to me. Something I was entirely responsible for _ . So it made sense, Blue wasn’t hiding it. Really he could take it and put it wherever he wanted so long as it didn’t trouble his Master. At least, that’s what he told himself.

“Then why are you hiding it?” Enoki prodded further, rather thoroughly destroying the fragile argument that Blue had construed all of his thoughts around.

“Do you want your food or not?” Blue huffs, hoping to distract the demon and just move along without ever addressing this whole mess.

“I can live without a meal right now, this is way more interesting.” Enoki smiles wide, tucking his feet underneath him like he’s a child at story time.

_ Of fucking course this is the one distraction he’s not even remotely tempted by. _

Blue shifts, stealing another hug from the stuffie that’s still tucked to his chest.

Why did he keep hiding it? It’s not like he had to. Kara had bought it for him. If Kara had a serious objection to the toy he wouldn’t have let Blue keep it. And it’s not as though the man had given any particular instruction about keeping it out of sight, not even in the presence of guests, but Blue had never really let it come to that. He actively hid it somewhere new almost every time. He spent actual time looking for good hiding spaces. Places that didn’t catch attention, cramped or dark enough that the soft yellow fabric would remain unseen.

“Because I don’t want it taken away.” Blue answers before he’s had time to think it through. 

Because it’s the only answer that makes sense, that tracks with the pains he’s taken to keep his stuffie hidden and available to him when he needs it most. Even though it must sounds stupid.

“But Kara gave it to you.” Enoki parrots back, and yeah, when you just look at the two facts it sounds crazy, but… but Blue had thought it out.

“Yeah,” He admits and Enoki just cocks his head, so Blue goes on, “but... if he doesn’t see it then he doesn’t have to think about it. He’ll forget and he’ll never be bothered by it. There’s no risk.”

There’s no risk that Kara will get upset enough to go back on his word. There’s no risk that Kara will find it odd how he clings and order him to keep it away. His Master won’t throw it away because it becomes too unsightly.

Blue can’t help the way he squishes the thing closer again, pressing his lips to the soft almost-fur that it’s made of. It’s so soft and for a moment Blue just indulges in the feeling, it’s all he lets himself think about.

“But, I mean, you like the thing. Why not have it and then that way you can show it to him and he can see how much you love it. He might get you more stuffies like that.” Enoki offers like it’s the most natural thing in the world, but Blue can only balk at the suggestion.

“I don’t-” _ I don’t want more _ , he was going to say, but that’s almost a lie.

He wants more. He wants more of the softness, of the cute little stitched faces and the bright and shimmery different eyes that he’s seen at the stores. He could hardly imagine all the different kinds they made, but it doesn’t stop him from wanting.

But then he’d have to find a place for them all and that would be a nightmare, because as much as he loves them, they do take up space, and it’s enough of a struggle to find a hiding place for one stuffie. He’s not sure how far he’d get with too many more.

“That would be selfish of me,” Blue answers instead, “I don’t need more.”

Because that’s the truth. Kara’s already been plenty generous giving him the one.

“He would shower you in them if he knew that you liked them.” Enoki taunts, but as fun as the thought is, it’s best that it stays a thought.

“I don’t need more,” Blue repreats, pausing before he realizes that he can get another opinion on this. “Don’t you think it’s...”

“Think it’s what?” Enoki huff, having none of Blue’s hesitance.

“Don’t you think it’s childish?” Blue blurts out in a rush.

He can feel the fresh heat blooming across his keeps as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Really what had possessed him to say that. He’s confiding one of his deepest fears to a demon of all things. Was he really so hard up that this was his only resort? Except, really, Enoki is one of his best friends. They spend quite a bit of time together as it is and his other options are significantly narrower. Blue can’t imagine asking this of Ande or Stars forbid, Avery.

Except, now that it’s out there Blue can’t take it back. He can’t play it off as a casual joke, or a bad gift from his owner that he’s just not allowed to throw away. Blue’s already admitted how much he likes it, and the insecurity that follows with it. He can only hope that he’s not judged too harshly. That Enoki will learn some propriety and keep it to himself, lest the whole school find out within a few days. That Enoki won’t hold it against him when-

“Why would it be childish?” Enoki asks with such innocence that Blue has to remind himself to breathe.

“I found it right next to some colorful blocks.” Blue admits sheepishly as he pushes his face right back into the fluffiness.

“Blue-” Enoki tries, but Blue doesn’t let him finish. 

“It’s childish,” Blue nearly chokes on the words but his emotions are running too high to stop them now. “And it’s unattractive. I can only imagine how weirded out he’d be with me if he saw me cuddling the damn thing all the time.”

Blue strokes down the soft side of the fluffy little pillow. It may be weird, but the damn thing always manages to provide some comfort.  _ Which makes this all so much harder. _

“Blue, that’s ridiculous.” Enoki answers like his words and his incredulity are enough to make it so.

“Is it?” Blue can’t help but bite back. “Would you favor a bedmate with the habits of a child?”

_ Well, some masters… _

“Blue, no.” Enoki says, snapping Blue out of his thoughts, “It’s not that it’s childish it’s that it’s you.”

_ Wow, Thanks for that vote of confidence buddy. _

Enoki must understand the dark look that passes over Blue’s face because he scrambles to correct himself.

“No, I’m saying this wrong, look-” Enoki stumbles, though it does at least look like he’s trying to choose his words correctly. “You like this stuffie, right?”

And that’s a simple question, at least… it sounds like a simple question.

“Yes.”

It’s soft and it makes me feel warm and it’s substantial enough to hug to my chest and rest my head on.

I like it. Even though it probably looks weird.

“Then you can like it. It’s not a crime. I doubt Kara would really care.” Enoki huffs, standing up and brushing invisible dust off his pants like he’s solved everything.

Still there’s something in there that Blue can’t shake.

“There’s still doubt there…” Blue answers slowly, although the prospect sounds nice he doesn’t want to get his hopes up and get swept away by possibilities. “It’s easier to keep it hidden and take it out when I really need it.”

“Do you need it now?” Enoki asks, motioning to the way Blue’s still clutching at the little cat

_ Do I need it? _ Blue knows that he should probably just put it away. He should just find a new hiding place and leave it at that. Perhaps Enoki would even manage to forget about it by the time he left and they might still be able to salvage an enjoyable evening. It’s a good plan. The best plan he’s got. Except, he can’t seem to force himself to put it down.

“Yes.” the answer comes quieter than even Blue expects with the way his face is smothered into the stuffie.

“Then fucking keep it.” enoki punctuates his statement with a roll of his eyes. “I won’t judge you.”

And Blue can’t imagine hearing anything better.

The food isn't any different than what Kara makes and eventually Blue can’t stop himself from asking. Apparently, Enoki doesn’t actually need food. It’s not the type of energy he subsists on, but the flavors and textures are nice. Entertaining, is the word Enoki chooses and Blue can’t help but think that there’s a particular reason for that that he doesn’t elaborate on.

Either way, Blue’s far too tired to point it out or try to drive the truth from the demon. Enoki can be such a steel trap when he wants to be.

Blue hugs his stuffie to his chest while he yawns. He didn’t get to do too much today, but he still feels tired. It’s honestly silly. He’s been getting so much sleep lately, but he still gets sleepy around midday. Especially now that it’s cold out and there’s nothing better to do.

“You’re going to make me jealous of a piece of fucking fabric.” Enoki chuckles and it’s all Blue can think to do to stick out his tongue at the taunt.

It doesn’t matter, but it’s just good simple fun and I can’t help but smile as I pick up the dishes.

“Are you tired?” Enoki asks once his own laughter dies down.

_ Yes…Yes, to an unfair degree _ . Blue knows he’s been sleeping a lot, but it seems like minor activity makes him tired now and that’s just not fair.

“Just a little bit…” Blue admits, “Do you want to take a nap?”

It’s not like they have much better to do, though it does seem a little odd. Or maybe not. When Enoki had first come to the Care center he had been a bit surprised, but he’d quickly adjusted to the concept of communal naps as an integral part of friendship. He was usually a good sport about being used as a pillow as well, so long as he wasn’t already occupied trying to poke the sleeping bear...

“Blue are you trying to get me into bed?” Enoki smirks, quirking his eyebrows suggestively and it’s all Blue can do not to go back to the table and shove his face back into his stuffie.

_ Enoki’s always like this _ , Blue reminds himself. He likes to find the suggestive in everyday words even though he’s got less than no experience. Though he does have just about less than no understanding of personal space.

“Oh well…” Blue pretends to consider the possibility of taking Enoki upstairs for them to spend the rest of today having their wicked way with each other “if you think you can handle it.”

The suggestive lilt to Blue’s voice has the desired effect. Enoki goes several shades of red, looking away and stumbling until Blue can’t contain his giggling. 

Blue follows Enoki out of the kitchen once the dishes are finished, but he’s not waiting at the stairs. Instead the demon seems to have curled up suggestively at the couch in the living room, which would be funny except…

“We do have a bedroom in this house… you know that right?”Blue can’t stop the lilt that comes across in his voice.

It’s probably weird for him to sleep in an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar bed…  _ but did he really think I was going to make him sleep on the couch? _

“Oh, yeah, I guess I’m just more tired than I thought.” Enoki smiles, but then the whole of his expression dims. 

It’s odd. Or rather, very unlike Enoki, and Blue puzzles it over as they climb the stairs. Enoki doesn't usually do things quietly, but he’s been rather subdued since Blue’s little episode in the living room.

_ The kitchen and now the living room, are we just going to have Enoki over until I have a little freak out in every single room? _

Blue shakes himself out of the thought. It’s not productive, but it is… worrisome. Blue can’t help but feel that he’s being unfair to Enoki. The demon’s become such a great friend and confidant. Surely there must be something that he could do in return for his friend…

Blue’s broken out of his thoughts as he starts looking through his drawer. He finds his own clothes easily enough, but Enoki’s a little taller. Would he be more comfortable in Kara’s things? Would Kara notice?

“I think I can find you some spare nightclothes-” Blue rambles fully intent on asking whether Enoki would like to borrow some of his own clothes or take the next size up when the demon cuts him off.

“Don’t bother,” Enoki breathes out like it’s an old argument, like it’s one he’s bored harving as he strips down.

_ Oh, so suggestive jokes are a no-go, but you can strip down just fine? _

Blue looks away but it’s not before he sees the scars. The long jagged one down the shoulder, the splintering around his midsection that look like radiating lines.  _ I wonder what did that… _

Blue tries not to let the curiosity consume him as he finds a pair of soft, fabric pants that are ended up too long on him and waits until the sound of fabric hitting the floor passes before turning around.

Enoki himself is devoid of such shame as he stands there in his underware, puts his hand on the sheets, and then just fucking shrinks.

Blue nearly has an aneurysm as his friend’s shape changes. He’s ready to track down Kara in the middle of the city to see if he can help with this rather unprecedented medical situation except... Enoki doesn’t seem to be in any pain, in fact he seems to have been expecting this as he makes no other move except to lever himself up the rest of the way until he’s fully seated on the mattress.

It’s not until the demon speaks that Blue even registers that he’s been staring.

“Blue? You coming?” the little doll sized Enoki pats at the space next to one of the pillows, like he’s just waiting for his companion. 

“Are...are you ok, what happened?” Blue stutters trying to make sense of what’s happening in front of him.

“Oh,” the doll version of Enoki has a much more noticeable blush. It’s pink and high on his cheeks, and sticks to his face like it’s been painted on. “I guess I’ve never shrunk down for you before. It saves a little bit of energy, this is the size of my doll. It’s what I look like when I don’t- have an owner.” He explains, though he keeps his gaze fixed on the sheets.

And Blue could see that. He’s a little big for a doll almost a foot and a half tall, but he’s very pretty. His long hair looks exceptionally soft even though most of it’s tucked away in his signature braid and his eyes actually look bigger in this form. 

He’s quite cute. 

“I’ve never seen you do that before.” Blue confirms, gesturing to the side of the bed that Enoki had used to crawl up but Enoki just shrugs.

“Yeah, Dey said not to while we were at the care center.” Enoki crosses his arms over himself, but he doesn’t seem cold. “You know, so many prying eyes…”

Blue supposes that makes sense. THere’s a lot of information, fact and fiction that passes through the lips of Familiars. It probably would be bad if Enoki’s secret got out in a crowd that is so dedicated to spreading such information. Still, Blue jumps at the thought. Because nearly every time their group is at the care center it ends in a nap. Or some kind of warm pile of limbs that has at least one person sleeping.  _ Was that… _

“Does it cost a lot of energy?” Blue asks hurriedly, moving onto the bed to get closer to the little doll form of his friend. “Does it hurt you to nap with us when you’re big?”

Enoki scoots away as Blue approaches and Blue has half a second of fear that his friend thinks he’ll hurt him when he notices the dip of the bed, something that might be a lot more perilous to someone under two feet tall.

“Not, I mean, it’s a little more draining, but it’s still a nap.” Enoki answers, once the mattress has stopped bouncing, “I’d just say it’s less fulfilling.” 

And Blue’s prepared to leave it at that when Enoki continues, his voice so quiet it almost matches the size of this new form.

“It’s a little scarier.”

“Scarier?” Blue parrots back for lack of something better to say. 

_ Why would taking a nap be scary? _

“I, it’s weird.” Enoki mumbles, trying to explain himself, “It feels like I’m hemorrhaging energy, but I mean, it’s fine…”

“How is that fine?” Blue cries and Enoki just throws his hands up.

“Because I really don’t know how much energy’s left!”

_ Left? Why would- oh right, _ Blue blushes as he reminds himself what Kara had told him.  _ Enoki runs on love. _

“I just… I got used to trying to conserve, so… it feels weird.” Enoki mumbles, clearly trying to pick out his words correctly.

“Does it help?” Blue asks.

If there’s some method to picking out where and how he uses his energy to make it through the day then Blue would like to know if there was any way he could help make the day less of an anxiety fueled frenzy. THough it seems his sentiment is missed.

“What?” Enoki asks, quirking his head to the side in a move that looks so much more adorable in his doll form.

“Does it help to try and conserve?” Blue clarifies only to be met with a humorless laugh.

“No, Blue. It doesn’t.” Enoki’s smiling but he sounds oddly pained. “When it’s done it’s done.”

“Done?” Blue echos, not really sure if he wants an answer or not. It sounds bad, and with the picture Blue’s starting to form in his mind…

“I don’t get a timer or anything, there’s not really a warning. I’ll be doing something and then I’ll wake up somewhere new, with someone else who loves me until I move wrong.” Enoki cuts himself off and even Blue can see the tears budding in Enoki’s overly large eyes. “There’s no time between. It’s like I’m not there even thought this,” Enoki pauses, tapping his chest so that Blue can hear the odd ceramic clink that it makes, “this exists. It’s there in the limbo, but I'm not. I don’t get to be there, be a part of it until-”

Blue doesn’t think. He just reaches out, picks Enoki up and holds the little trembling doll to his chest. Blue can feel Enoki’s shrunken from curling around the embrace even as he’s shaking. He can feel the two tiny hands grabbing at his shirt as Enoki rubs his face furiously in Blue’s sleepwear.

Blue says nothing about the dampness he feels.

He just rubs the soothing circles that he himself loves into his friend’s back, hoping the demon find it as soothing as he does.

Blue continues to hold Enoki even once the hitching of breath has stopped and the little demon doesn’t cling so desperately. Blue just tucks the blankets up around them and makes sure the stuffie is there for the both of them.

“I get scared when I’m alone Blue.” Enoki doesn’t so much as tell Blue as he says it to the room at large.

“I get so scared and all I can think about-” Enoki cuts himself off taking a moment to draw in a ragged breath and collect himself. “I just wonder how close I am to running out that clock. I’m so scared I can barely-”

“Hey-” Blue tries to cut him off, but Enoki just barrels on.

“Dey has suitors. There are a thousand people who want to marry him, who want his love. I can’t pretend that’s ok, but I can’t… I won’t be able to survive on the scraps.” He whimpers, pressing his face into the pillow beneath him and Blue knows by the way his shoulders shake that he’s crying.

_ How long has he been living with this? _ Blue knows that things are a little different in Durian, familiars mostly being demons up there, but he’d thought that those were mostly...permanent fixtures in a mage’s life. Mages in Visaunra had multiple familiars in case one died unexpectedly, or rather expectedly. But demons got chosen by the blood of their mage, a perfect match made by their core. It had never occured to Blue what might happen to a demon who was… dismissed.

Was that something they feared, just like pets who worried about the shifting of their Master's preferences?

Then again, Enoki wasn’t exactly a demon either. He was a doll, a cursed doll that was animated by a soul. A soul that was fueled by the love of their host.

“Hey, I-” Blue bites his lip as he searches for the right words. “Dey would never-”

“Dey has responsibilities.” He bites out like it’s the single most disgusting word he’s ever been forced to utter. “It may not be his choice. He loves quick Blue, who’s to say a new spouse wouldn’t gain his affections.”

And that’s fair. Dey’s a prince. He will eventually become a king and then he’ll need a partner, but still the equivalent feels false. I’m not blind. I’ve seen Dey and Enoki together. As much as Enoki’s a little shit, Blue can’t see Dey ever just abandoning him for the spouse he’s been forced to marry.

“Have you ever skipped time since being with Dey?” Blue asks, feeling his way towards a point that will let him put this anxiety to bed.

“Yes.” Enoki answers quickly and it’s all Blue can do not to let his mouth drop open.

“What?” Blue asks in shock before he can even think of how this memory might not be something Enoki wants to relive.

“There was- there was this assassin.” Enoki stumbles, “I barely remember what happened, but I- I got in the way.”

“You blocked the-” Blue has to stop himself as he takes in the thought “Enoki, you save his life?”

“He was just a kid.” Enoki says, like that explains everything. “He was a kid and when I woke up he was so much older. It scared me.”

Blue knows he shouldn’t. He always hated it when people would point out his scars, when they would point and judge about things that they didn’t know. So he doesn’t, he just waits until Enoki raises his head. Ther tear tracts are still there, though his face remains unchanged.

_ I suppose that’s one good point about being ceramic, you don’t have to worry about getting all red and puffy. _

“Was that the assassin?” Blue asks quietly, “Did they break you?”

“Apparently, I was in all sorts of pieces.” Enoki chuckles through the wet, sobbing sound at the back of his throat.

_ It must have been a hell of a job. _ Blue’s broken enough plates to know that pieces shatter in a wide pattern. Even when they gather up all the pieces… it’s nearly impossible to paste it all together again. A job that’s probably made, incomprehensibly harder by the fact that there’s a soul attached. Blue had gotten more than an earful when he’d helped Lies out with her cats. Souls and vessels are a tricky business, especially when you need the right one.

“Who fixed you?” Blue asks before he can check the impulse, but Enoki doesn’t seem too bothered.

“Dey.” he answers quickly, trying to be subtly about the way he dabs at his tears.

“Dey fixed you up?” Blue can’t help but parrot back.

Because if he did that would be impressive in its own right, but Dey is a prince. He can only imagine how much time he had to put aside in order to even attempt to paste together a doll and invite its soul back in.

“Yeah. There was a huge scandal when I woke up. Apparently he’d fired, like, half a dozen dollmakers.” Enoki huffs, pulling back the covers to run his hand over an uneven patch at his side. “this is his work.”

Enoki’s not prepared when Blue flicks him in the forehead. It doesn’t hurt, but in this form, Blue’s so much bigger that it does actually sting.

“Hey, what was that for?” Enoki pouts, pressing both hands to his forehead.

“That is for you being dumb.” Blue can’t keep the smile off his face as he pulls Enoki closer to him, replacing the covers. “Enoki, I don’t know a lot about Dey, maybe he really does jump to love really fast, but I don’t think it means he drops out of it as easily.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” 

“He had years between you being animate, but he never gave up, they fixed you, but he knew that he loved you so when you didn’t move they must have done it wrong. He probably worked at it a long time. A really long time while he waited for you to come back to him.” Blue can’t stop himself from chuckling as he presses a kiss to Enoki’s head despite the squirming. “Enoki, he’s not going to just stop loving you.”

Stars, is this little dolly blind?

“I just- I live with the fear that he’ll grow bored. Everyday, I live with that and it’s agony, but I can’t help but love it. Because I know that I’m alive when I feel it, but at the same time I can’t stand the countdown I put in my head It could all change so quickly and I- I wouldn’t even know until I woke up in another person’s house and I’d have to start this all again and I can’t-” Enoki rambles, but Blue cuts off that disastrous little train of thought.

“You won’t have to.”

It’s a pretty big promise, but Blue’s sure that he’ll never be proven wrong.

“How can you say that for sure?” Enoki murmurs into Blue’s sleep shirt, seemingly adjusted to the squished version of cuddling that Blue prefers.

“Because even if Dey somehow, miraculously stops loving you, I still will.” And that’s a promise that Blue’s certain he can keep.

The little demon has long since wormed his way into Blue’s heart.

“Blue-” Enoki starts, but his voice is thick with emotion and Blue puts an immediate stop to that.

“Think of me as your backup battery.” he chuckles, and because there’s nothing left he can do to lighten the mood, Blue purrs, nuzzling into his friends as he tries to squirm away.

“You’re so sappy I can’t even take it!” Enoki giggles.

“Oh, shut up and let me take my nap.”

“Blue! You’re just going to go to sleep when you’ve pulled me into bed and told me you love me, oh cruel!” Enoki throws his arms about and speaks like it’s something scandalous.

_ I suppose, in his words, it is. _

“Yes, I’m very cruel,” Blue huffs, before slurring his words in feigned sleep “now, iz sleppy time.”

I’m tired. I’m tired and it’s so easy to lean into the sensations now. Enoki is a comfortable weight on my chest and even though he protested the snuggling he drops off into sleep even before me. Not that I can blame him. It’s perfect up here. 

It’s warm and soft, and neither one of us have to be alone.

  
  



End file.
